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Kids rules for dating their divorced parents

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Just because a man is divorced doesn’t mean that you should rule him out completely. Dating a man who is going through a divorce or is newly divorced can be a tough challenge.

You need to continually reassure your child that the other parent's lack of commitment has nothing to do with her "lovability." If, say, your daughter's father failed to show up, you might tell her, "Even adults make big mistakes, and sometimes they hurt the people they love. If you make excuses for the other parent, it cuts off your child's chance to express himself.You’ll definitely need to accept this man’s ex-wife, but that’s as much as you need to do.There’s no point in digging up dirt about her or stalking her on Facebook.But broken-up spouses can help stop the damage by managing their own behavior before the ink dries on the divorce papers. Gary Neuman, LMHC, gives exes pointers on how to split up without emotionally destroying their kids long term."Too many parents attempt to communicate through their children," Neuman says, "which causes undue emotional stress on them and forces them to negotiate a situation their own parents could not handle.If possible, sit down with the other parent and plan how you're going to talk to your child or children about what is going on.Breaking up is hard to do, and it may be especially hard for kids.During the relationship he may run into old friends who ask about his divorce and his ex-wife, so mentally prepare yourself for that.Don’t get insecure, angry, or sad every time you hear her name.I have no idea what to do." When an ex is unreliable, it can be frustrating and painful for both you and your children.However, there are subtle ways in which the parent who has custody can disappoint the kids as well -- and even contribute to the other parent's lack of commitment. When a parent regularly doesn't come through, kids assume that they are somehow to blame.

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