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Dating an uncool guy

She is currently involved in human rights activism, research and writing.

She is deeply passionate about women’s rights and the protection of children especially in conflict zones.

But I just got out of a relationship and if it’s ok with you, I’d like to be friends right now and nothing more. Because if you change your mind and run, you have left her sitting in your puddle of infatuation wondering what the heck just happened. It’s hard to do, but don’t ever lose sight of how your behavior might affect the women you are dating.

After you’ve dated your fair share of jerks, you might have a hard time figuring out whether or not the guy you’re currently seeing is genuinely awesome, or if you’re just wasting your time on another disappointment.

Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.

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Maybe his romantic attraction to her wasn’t the same the second time they met. Secondly, he was freshly out of another relationship, so he probably isn’t looking for a long-term, serious commitment. His stopping cold turkey shows that he didn’t think of my friend’s feelings.

But the good news is, if these things apply to him, you can be pretty darn sure that he’s someone you’ll want to stay with for as long as possible: You can talk to him about anything.

The future, your psycho boss, sex, periods — you name it, he is happy to listen to you and have a conversation about pretty much anything that is on your mind.

And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Either you’re a woman who has wanted to be her, tried to be her and wisely gave up, is currently attempting to be the Cool Girl or you’re a man who has dreamt of your own version of the Cool Girl.

Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. Someone should make a movie about the Cool Girl phenomenon. Or, you know the personality type because you watch contemporary movies made in Hollywood.


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